


Babies on Ice

by paebody



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (Yurio), JJ is the father, M/M, Mpreg, Premature Birth, Skating, abuse of children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:27:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9490964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paebody/pseuds/paebody
Summary: Yuuri gives birth early on the ice, and it turns out to be the stuff of Viktors nightmares. (this is straight up crackfiction)





	

**Author's Note:**

> based on a convo i had with my buddy ness, im blaming this entirely on you

Yuuri was sliding gracefully on the ice. He was beautiful – more beautiful than Viktor had ever seen him. His hair was moving in the slight breeze, and he looked like a god while dancing. Not only that, Yuuri was pregnant with Viktor’s child. Viktor felt so blessed, watching his lovely husband skating there, pregnant with his child. Yuuri wanted the best routine, even a couple quads in it. Viktor had thought it’d be too dangerous, but his husband had always been such a daredevil.  
Just as Yuuri was doing his step sequence, he fell. It was like everything stopped, and went in slowmotion. Viktor panicked, as Yuuri fell straight down onto his very pregnant stomach.  
Then, the unthinkable happened. The child inside Yuuri popped out of his ass and flew straight into one of the judges’ face. Everyone was shocked, and Yuuri was laying on the ice, face down. Viktor didn’t know what to do, so he grabbed Yurio from next to him, and threw him at the judges as he went to get his baby, then Yuuri.  
But wait – Yuuri had turned into a terrifying Shrek/Trump morph! He stared up at Viktor, and yelled at him; “What are you doing in my swamp?!” Viktor took a step back, then looked down at his child. It was a black child! How was this possible?  
Then, Barack Obama himself showed up, and the crowd roared! He was wearing skates covered in American flags, and they had wings on either side. “Ah! Viktor Nikiforov! Why are you holding my child?” he said, and Viktor nearly dropped the baby. He looked down at Shrump, who just shrugged. “It was inevitable, Viktor. No one can resist his charm...”  
But it didn’t end there… Viktor looked at his... No, Obama’s child, and his worst nightmare had been confirmed.  
“It’s... JJ style!” the baby yelled, doing JJ’s signature hand move! Viktor screamed in fear, as he threw the baby on the ground, and ran away as fast as he could.

*

Viktor woke up covered in sweat. Oh, god. It had just been a nightmare.  
“Honey, are you alright?” a comforting voice said from next to him. He was safe in his own bed. “Yeah, I just had a-“ Viktor started, but then he saw the Shrump morph lying next to him, and he was wearing a hat that said “Make America Great Again”.  
Viktor screamed again, but he woke up in his own bed. This time he sighed. What a horrible nightmare. He looked next to him, but this time, it was JJ lying in bed next to him! Viktor screamed as he tried to escape this nightmare, but as it turned out, it wasn’t a nightmare. This was reality. And it was far scarier than any of the other nightmares he had.

**Author's Note:**

> time to find god *propels into dumpster*


End file.
